Yesterday, I arrived home to a freshly vacuumed house, a newly installed bathroom ceiling fan (which took five hours and entailed a trip to the attic to remove 30-year-old headless nails), empty garbage cans and a hot meatloaf dinner. It's nice to have an occasional house-spouse! Nice to eat dinner before 7:45.
We're trying to get going earlier in the morning these days, particularly since Matt's boss basically said his theoretical promotion next spring hinges on it. Matt says this morning, "This may sound dumb, but I hope that maybe after the time change, I'll have an easier time getting going." I laughed at him. I'm not sure he appreciated it.
I made it into the office at 9:15 today! Nice. (it's usually more like 9:45) Though, it was a hard morning to leave Lizzy at the day care. It's never easy, but some days I feel so much guilt and sadness about kissing that little face goodbye. I wish I could be with her all day... She was just so sweet and chubby-cheeked and clingy. She didn’t cry when I left -- her usual form of protest -- but she lay down on the floor, face-down. It was SO sad. Before that, she looked up at me and simply said, “Don’t go.”
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Oh, Kate I feel for you. Our kids can make us feel soo bad sometimes, but don't let the guilt get to you. I just wanted to tell you that my mom raised my sister and I and worked two jobs to pay for it. When she would come home from work and have dinner and then have to go waitress, I would beg not to be left with the sitter, and I'm sure it broke her heart, but guess what, I turned out fine. And now, I am so proud of what she did and I respect her as a hard-working wonderful woman. One of my concerns as a stay at home mom is that I want my son, when he gets older to recognize that women have just as much to contribute to society as men and that my entire existance does not and should not revolve around him. Your daughter will see you working at something you are good at and enjoy and it will instill a respect in her for you and for women in general and it will give her confidence that she can do whatever she wants. I'm not saying that stay-at-home moms can't do this also, only that there are trade-offs and challenges in both jobs. Sorry for such a long comment.
ReplyDelete(((Kate)))
ReplyDeleteI know that feeling all too well. I wish I had words to make it better for you, but I know nothing anyone says will do that. Just know you're not alone.
Liz
Thanks, ladies. You made me feel much better. I'll return to these comments for a pep talk now and then ... And if I'm honest, occasionally, when I'm with Lizzy for an entire day (a holiday, or a weekend), I think, I would never be able to keep my tenuous grasp on sanity if I were to do this all the time. Stay-at-home moms have the most amazing jobs ever.
ReplyDeleteMaggie -- my mom is one of the smartest women I've ever known, and she hasn't had a job as long as I've been alive. Lots of volunteer stuff. And lots of tutoring me on my homework! Especially math. I know Levi will have a healthy respect for women, just from having you for a mom.