Tuesday, May 09, 2006

peace

It's hard to concentrate on what I'm doing today. When about a mile away -- very imprecise measurement there -- our dear friends Mike and Stacy are having their C-section, and their children. Crazy to contemplate. Impossible to wrap the head around. Some things just don't compute, no matter how long you have to mull them over. Some things are just too big; too momentous.

So different from my workday today! My boss is gone, and I'm the ersatz in charge features person. Far from being swollen with power, I'm getting all the random e-mail junk that he usually gets, and people asking for seemingly silly things that I don't usually have to deal with. I appreciate him so much when he's away. Heh. He's in L.A., for a video-game conference. Nice job if you can get it! Though, no thanks. I have enough cross-country travel all on my own.

This weekend wasn't a very good one for me, and I have no idea why. I just wasn't in a happy place, mentally. Again, no reason. Not even a good 'hormonal' excuse, if you will. I just wasn't very content with anything. Quite grumpy. Lizzy was pretty much a little pill, too. More so than usual. It seemed to take dire threats to get her to listen to us or cooperate at all.

We ran around a lot. Always rushing here and there, and that does tend to make me a little nutty. Especially when I have the sense that it's "on me" to herd everyone along. So, along we herded -- eat breakfast; go to crafts fair to talk to guy from whom we might buy cards to use as invitations, yet he had none of the practical info. we were led to believe he would have; rush home so Lizzy can take a nap; threaten Lizzy with dire beatings (no, not really) if she did not close her eyes; 45 minutes later, wake up Lizzy with promises of birthday party; drive to Arlington for gymnastics party, get thwarted by Mapquest, practically cry because I wasn't in the best of moods anyway; eventually find party; persuade child to leave playground outside of party a few hours later; get home; blah, blah. Next day: Church; rush into D.C. to help significant other with silly project, requiring smuggling him into my office so he can use Illustrator program; find out that he can't possibly finish project in time allotted, so rush RUSH back to Manassas to drop him off before heading back to Hwy. 66 to go to Disney show with friends Elizabeth and Liz; get back home; grab novel of the week and head to back porch.

It was raining. I sat there and opened my book. I heard the sliding door open and shut. I looked up to see Lizzy, squatting down beside me. "What are you doing out here?" she inquired. "I just needed a moment alone," I said, sighing. Obviously not getting said moment alone. "Me, too," she said. "I need a moment alone -- with you."

Suddenly, I didn't seem to need that moment so badly. :)

God bless you, Mike and Stacy. And babies X and Y. If you don't know them, and you pray, please stop and say a prayer for them right now. If you do know them, I know you're praying already!

2 comments:

  1. Kate, your weekend would have driven me batty too! :) I recently got really frustrated over something stupid, and realized it was just the tipping point of a bunch of hectic details (trying to cram in seeing everyone I want or need to see in NC, and then finding out that one tiny detail was off). But the Lizzy story is incredibly sweet and even made me stop for a second to relax and smile!

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  2. You've captured both the upsides & downsides of being a working mom - it makes me ponder about the future.

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