Have ya heard the one about ...

Or, Mother's Day, Part II.

At first, I was amused. I'm still amused, actually, but in a more 'dark humor'-type way now. It's officially a rumor around the day care that I'm pregnant. I don't know of any woman who wants to be thought of as pregnant, when they're not. Especially if people start asking things like, "How far along are you?" and, "Do you know the gender of the baby yet?" The answers to these are, respectively, "Zero months," and, "No." I don't say that, of course. These are nice ladies who just want Lizzy to be a big sister! So do I. That's probably why this all started. She's been telling her teachers, and anyone who will listen, apparently, that Mommy has a baby in her tummy.
If she tells you, be not alarmed. Or curious. Really. I'm not.
It's an odd thing to tell one's child that "Mommy won't have a baby in her tummy until after she and Daddy get married," but I've found those words coming out of my mouth.

This morning, after getting the "how far along are you?" query, I pulled Lizzy aside and explained to her that Mommy does NOT have a baby in her tummy; please do not tell people that she does. Lizzy looked rather crestfallen and chastened; I wondered if this was another example of her creating the alternate reality she would prefer.

I'm not even sure if that's an apt description. But I've noticed -- I assume this is normal for her age -- that if she doesn't want something to be the way it is, she simply denies it. She believes what she wants to. For instance: In the morning, I try to get her to go potty before we leave the house. It makes me, and -- I would assume -- her, feel better to know she's not having to hold it until we get to school (close to an hour later). Some days, she will insist she doesn't have to go. First thing in the morning? C'mon, child! But I insist, so she gets up on the pot and hunches over and scowls. Then we hear some tinkling. "That's NOT pee-pee!" she will shout defiantly. Uhhhhokay, hon. If that's the way you want it. As long as you DO wipe yourself and wash your hands, despite the fact that you "didn't go pee-pee," I don't care what you call it. So perhaps I'm aiding and abetting the falsehood there.
If she wants a particular snack in the car, and we tell her we don't have it -- because we don't -- she will say, "YES you DO!" as if we're withholding goodies. Now, I do a number of screwed-up things to my child, sure, but I don't think I lie to her much. Except, you know, the usual -- Santa Claus brought that gift; if you don't hold Mommy or Daddy's hand in the parking lot, you'll surely get squished; etc.

One more note on the Lizzy wants to be a big sister thing -- she actually cradled her own foot to her chest the other day -- don't try this at home, adults! -- and cooed and sang to it and called it a little baby. THAT is one desperate child.