Finally on board

Hooray! Last night, Matt joined the rank (singular -- not referring to odor, thank you very much) of those attempting to plan this here Sept. 30 wedding. At times, I have broached certain topics -- granted, picayune details, mostly, but things I wanted to bounce off him -- but his mind was usually elsewhere. Uninterrupted time to talk is a bit of a luxury, when there's a little one about. So we haven't done extensive batting around of ideas. He usually gives me the typical groom-to-be, "Whatever you want, dear. I don't much care about most of it, and anyway, do we REALLY have to address this right now?" vibe.

Yesterday, Matt had a conversation with his temporary office mate who has been dating a guy for about five months. They've been engaged for two months, and are planning a wedding for August 2008. Which, frankly, I find to be insane, but whatever floats their boat... So this woman was wigging out that we are four months away and everything remains so unplanned! What!? You'd best get going! Matt came away very alarmed, saying things like, "You know how you were talking about having your bridesmaids just wear one of their dresses? (X) says that the hemlines will be all crooked!" (crazy hand gestures up and down the leg.) "They're gonna need to buy a dress after all!" I said, "Oh, you mean that realization that I told you about days ago? That one? Yeah. I agree." Repeat two or three times, changing the minor wedding detail variable, and you have the gist.

The part that disturbed me was the earnest concern Matt showed for an idea that another, close friend-type of his brought up: Since there is no hotel near the reception site -- for those of you who haven't been there, which I'm guessing is most everybody, the place is SMALL! Which is neat and quaint, but in some senses, perhaps impractical -- his friends can't do their usual wedding (or gathering of any sort) stunt of getting rip-roaring drunk, then stumbing to their rooms and passing out. Whoops! Matt guesses we'll have to rent a limo van to escort them all back to Manassas. I'm all, we WHAT? We "have" to do WHAT?!! I mean, c'mon. I've driven to Allentown, Pa., and back -- a journey of four hours each way, as I recall, for a summer wedding in an un-air-conditioned car -- to attend someone's marital union for a few hours. I was a Big Girl. I planned accordingly. Didn't drink much, left in time for me to get back before I figured I'd be too tired, etc. Aren't we adults here? Can't we make our own accommodations? He said, Hey! I'm just looking out for everyone! I just want to make sure everyone's taken care of! What if some long-lost aunt of yours, who wasn't expected to come, does so at the last minute? Where will SHE stay? Now, that's a dumb example, because any aunts of mine are flying cross-country, and likely buying their tickets well in advance. But, playing along, I said, "I don't much care. That's their problem." He gaped at me, then said that was a selfish attitude. Hm, maybe. But dont'cha think I have a few more things to worry about that week than how to accommodate for last-minute folks who, by definition, won't have let us know they're coming for catering purposes, etc.? Really. I like to trust adults to fend for themselves. Herein lies an essential difference between me and the Mattster -- I have had that luxury growing up, for the most part. I have played the part of the kid, when that was age-appropriate, and when I was an adult, I was allowed to be one. I didn't have to cover for anyone else. Matt has always had to be the adult, and still is. (and here's where I get in trouble for saying too much about his family, whom I hope to goodness never find this post. Oops. But you know what? It's my blog.*)

So there's the long-winded set-up for today's wedding question: How much effort did you go to, to accommodate for drunken people? And if your spouse-to-be was cool with not serving any alcohol at your reception, then, well, I envy you. That would seem to be the cheap and easy way out. However, that's Not The Way It's Done as far as certain parties are concerned, so there we are. We have managed to compromise on beer and wine only, which I feel will help.

Don't get me wrong -- If anyone needs help or suggestions on where to stay, I am very very happy to help. I want to help! There will be some out-of-towners, and I am so honored and happy that they're planning to come. They're not out in the cold, on their own, as far as planning goes. But doesn't it make sense that they would wonder for themselves, ahead of time, and inquire what the lodging considerations are?

* Have I mentioned that Matt threatens to start a blog called "Srettel Sunil" to refute all of my "slanted" stories that involve him? Heh. I think he should. I'll let you know if he ever does.