Matt doesn't check my blog much, but, in theory, he could. So I can't give you details on the no doubt fascinating-to-all drama that is unfurling regarding his bachelor party.
In short, the two friends of his that have thus far gotten married have had blowout, alcohol-infused, stripper and strip club-packed parties. Which each friend in attendance is expected to pay hundreds of dollars to help make happen. I'm honestly not sure that even Matt's friends really enjoy all this debauchery -- I think it's more what's "expected." But, again, even they are a bit tired of it after twice around. It's not that clever any more, and (I hope) is seen as a bit much. Anyway, Matt's not that interested, in part because I have made some dire comments (threats?) as to what might happen if such a party were to take place for him.
There's a new plan afoot. But, as with all of Matt's friends' plans, it's fraught with complications, misunderstandings and just plain juvenile behavior, on the level of "don't tell X, but blah blah," then X is told, then X is offended, but can't do anything about it because he's not supposed to know... Shades of fifth-grade playground drama. Matt's friend, the intended best man, has actually come up with a cool, inventive plan. I'm impressed. But, uh, I'm not supposed to know anything. :)
Also -- Matt gets the impression that all of his friends, including his brother, are assuming that they will be selected as best man. Guess what, boys -- you aren't even all going to be groomsmen! HA HA HA. I must be feeling particularly evil today, to delight in their feelings of offense. But I have no interest in a), asking a half-dozen friends to be bridesmaids to complement his half-dozen (or more) groomsmen, OR b) having a three gals to six guys-type inequality. At what point does it all get to be too ridiculous? Isn't it okay, and special, just to be invited at all? Or to know that your friend cares about you?
Feel free to post your silliest wedding friend-juggling stories. I can totally see why certain friends of mine were strongly suggesting elopement. Though, it has been pretty fun to plan so far.
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We went the all-inclusive route regarding our wedding party. Now, some 18 years later, I'm sort of amazed at how few of those people we're still in contact with. I can count them on one hand. They are our siblings. Even my cousins that we included because we are male-heavy in both our families we have fallen out of touch with. But that's another story. All of the friends it seemed **so** important to include because we were going to stick together forever have fallen by the wayside.
ReplyDeleteAll of that is to say, I'm a big believer in choose carefully and keep it small, because then you will choose the people who will stick with you through thick and thin.
Then ... ultimately ... you and Matt will do what is right for you. The important thing being ... at the end of the day, you are married. Everything else is just window dressing.
We ended up with one extra guy because I insisted that the ex ask both of my brothers to be grooms men and he didn't want to give up any of his friends. I can't blame him for that. So, when we were trying to come up with an additional girl, my brother suggested I ask his girl friend. I told him I was willing to do it, but he had to understand how his girl friend would interput this move (for all you guys I'll explain that she would see this as being the equvilant to a proposal.) My brother said she would understand... um, famous last words. Several months after my wedding she took it really hard when the eventual break-up occured. My brother had several girl friends between her and his wife... every time he would break up with someone, the poor girl would show up on his door step and ask if he was ready to get back together. I learned my lesson... never believe a guy when he says he knows a gal well enough to figure out what she is / will be thinking.
ReplyDeleteOh and my ex's bacholar party consisted of a bunch of friends going out and blowing a ton of money on cameras and accessories. They each spent a small fortune on themselves. At least there were no strippers.
For his bachelor party, one of Jason's friends suggested hiring prostitutes just to 'hang out.' Jason quickly quashed the idea, but I still shudder at the thought.
ReplyDeleteSchuyler's sister took him aside one day and told him that she had better be made a bridesmaid. And she wasn't joking. So we had 5 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen. It was fine, I was pretty go-with-the-flow about it all. I had 2 sisters, 2 friends and the sil.
ReplyDeleteI can see Sonja's point about choosing carefully, but I'm more the include everyone and don't worry about it type of person.
Schuyler's bachelor party was a camping trip where they drank lots of beers and chopped down some trees for no reason. I was madder about the trees than I would have been about a stripper.
The Chapman wedding 2 weeks ago had 11 groomsmen and 11 bridesmaids. (2 flowergirls, 1 ring bearer). I think Kelley had to out-do her sisters just like she always does. Traditionally Chapman weddings have just the 8 sisters or maybe a friend as well. Kelley, the loudest and proud to be most obnoxious, had 11. It was nice but a little ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteI forgot ... you asked for stories too.
ReplyDeleteOkay ... here's Ross' bachelor party. We got married in Vermont and left about a week before the wedding. The night before we were to leave he had 24 hour duty on base. So ... the night before that, all his so-called friends took him out to the NCO club for his bacelor party. It lasted 45 minutes. Supposedly there was a stripper involved, but Ross doesn't remember it. In fact he doesn't remember anything because they poured so many shots down his throat that when they brought him back to the apartment he in under an hour (I was gone ... I'd gone out to dinner with a friend) he was throwing up in the toilet. One of the guys decided to empty our vegetable bin in the toilet to make it look better.
Later on that night I really should have called 911 and had Ross hospitalized for alcohol poisoning, because I couldn't wake him up. I sat up all night and tried every hour, until I could. It was bad.
To this day he can't drink hard liquor of any kind. Just smelling it makes him feel nauseous.
So ... it's not really funny. But that was his bachelor party experience. All his friends (at the time) thought it was really funny.
I love reading these wedding stories. Ask us more! Ask us how we chose flowers, or what our favors were or, whether anything went wrong or whether our bridesmaids wore shoes.
ReplyDelete