I am having a bad moment. And blogging about it probably isn't the most positive thing to do, but on the chance it might make me feel a wee bit better and relieved of tension, I am going to do so. So -- if you don't want a dose of negativity, you should maybe skip this.
I am tired of my mother-in-law's insanity, and her complete denial of it.
I am tired of hearing from Matt about how ALL OF his friends say we are nuts we are to invite kids to our wedding reception. I am tired, in fact, of people trying to make it about how THEY think a wedding reception should be. (perhaps not so surprisingly, only Matt's friends have done this.)
I am tired of certain reception details not being valid ideas to Matt until he hears them from someone else other than me.
I am tired -- literally -- of staying up until 1 a.m. to work on ridiculous wedding invitations that, frankly, aren't that special anyway. They're fine. I don't need them to be special. It's just a freekin' piece of paper to tell people where to go, and when, should they want to. So why does it take so LONG to do? So much blasted time that I never have to myself, anyway?
I am tired of my office being 60 degrees.
I am tired of being the only person in my department not on vacation for a good chunk of July or August. I do not like D.C. much at the best of times, and I come closest to hating it this time of year.
And most of all, I am tired of hearing the dance/rave/mariachi beat of whatever is going on upstairs. I hear the National Press Building, in all its wisdom, has put some sort of sound studio directly above our office. Directly above my corner of the office. For what purpose? I have no earthly idea.
I am also tired of stressing about the fact that Matt and I have many friends whom we are, in effect, telling that they are not really that important by not inviting them to this ridiculous shindig (because of space). Really, that might be the biggest one. But the music above my head is right up there.
I had a little reality check yesterday when someone in the office -- someone who is not invited to the wedding, naturally -- asked me how the preparations were coming along. I rolled my eyes and winced. She looked surprised at my reaction.
Later that day, I called a friend looking for her new address. She asked me, "Are you excited about the wedding? Looking forward to it?" And I realized, I am not. I know it will be wonderful when I get there. But I just don't care enough, you know? Lots of time between me and this wedding has been a luxury. I get more tense the closer it gets.
This is not the be all/end all day of my life. It will be another day. A day immortalized by 13,000 photos, of course. But another day nonetheless. Matt and I agree that we just want it to be over with.
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Right up until our wedding actually started, I was thinking that we should've eloped, but once it started it was really great. It was a really fun day.
ReplyDeleteSorry about your day. I hope it gets better. Maybe they'll start playing something nice (classical?) in that studio.
Not that you've asked, but the best advice might be to come up with a stock answer for people who are telling you what kind of reception to have. Something that firmly and politely lets them know that they've strayed beyond your boundaries and redirects the conversation. You absolutely do not have to put up with that.
ReplyDeleteIt is "your" day. Remember that and do the things that are most important to you and Matt (as much as possible). And all your friends will still love you anyway. ;-)
And ... this level of frustration is completely normal at this stage of the game. I remember it well. It will pass and your day will be lovely.
Thank you, Ms. Solas. I appreciate that.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, the comments have all come second-hand (through Matt). Which is partly why they bother me so much -- I am powerless to combat them. And the one who COULD combat them, to stick up for me/us and what I/we want, apparently is NOT doing so. That is more likely the true source of my rage on this subject.
Ah, Kate and Solas, there is one all-purpose answer to people who insist on criticizing your choices regarding your wedding, reception, or child's names, etc., and it rhymes with "duck cough." Repeat as needed.
ReplyDeleteAs for the music, perhaps you could obtain a subwoofer/speaker combo of some kind and apply it to the ceiling of your office. I can supply all sorts of music for you to pipe up at them that does not sound at all like dance/rave/mariachi music. At All. Perhaps with the dulcet tones of Cannibal Corpse or Dew-Scented seeping up through their floor they might rethink the decision to cut corners on their sound-proofing. We could play it only while you're at lunch! And you just said nobody's in the office 'cause they're all on vacation so who'll complain? This is so win-win.
I completely agree with Ms Solas, you have hit a completely normal emotional speed bump on the way to almost any life event, but esp. a wedding. I'm sorry to say, there is a strong possibility it will get somewhat worse before the wedding. The best thing you can do, is do your best to go with the flow and continue to remind yourself that what you're feeling is normal and almost all the happy couples you see around you have endured it.
ReplyDeleteAs for being helpless in regards to the comments of Matt's friends... does he know how much this is hurting you? My take on this would be to explain to Matt how it makes you feel. Tell him he is free to talk to his friends about anything he wishes, but you are very hurt by his friends' comments and you'd like him to refrain from sharing them. Of course, you could leave the door open for him to share is personal concerns, issues, and suggestions... afterall, it's his day, too. But firmly let him know that you only want to hear about his genuine and personal concerns.
Kate--I'm with you! Sometimes all the million little annoyances we juggle come crashing down. I'm glad you blogged about yours.
ReplyDeleteNotwithstanding my idiot questions, I actually felt similarly about my own wedding. It actually ends up being fun, however, from the sheer relief of not having to do more stuff to prepare for it.
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