Richard Marx drove me to it

I tote my iPod -- last year's awesome Christmas gift -- around faithfully with me almost wherever I go, but so rarely break it out and listen to it.

Today, I had no choice. I had some crappy song that I used to do aerobics to in gym class in the '80s stuck in my head. Yikes.

And, you know what? It took me about 25 seconds to extricate it from the depths of my purse. Not really a sacrifice. And I've so enjoyed listening to it for the past 45 minutes or so. Just think about how the quality of my life would improve in general if I weren't so lazy about so very many things.

In honor of my newfound friend, I thought I'd do something that I've seen on a couple of blogs. I'll write down the first 10 songs that come up on shuffle.

Here they are:

1. Piano in the Dark -- Brenda Russell
I admit, I have a girly weakness for overwrought, emotional songs. This is one of my faves of that type. I actually hunted it down on iTunes and forked over my 99 cents for it.

2. Material Girl -- Madonna
I'm a little surprised I have this one on there. I didn't like it at the time, but I've learned to embrace the '80s in all of its cheese. Many's the artist I'm quite fond of that I really didn't like when I was in high school. (can you say Prince, for instance?)

3. Dependin' on you -- Doobie Brothers.
I love the Doobie Brothers. More specifically, I LOVE Michael McDonald. (and, yes, I've seen 'The 40-Year-Old Virgin.' ha HA.)

4. Soul Dance Number Three -- Wilson Pickett
This one's DEFINITELY Matt's fault. He's the Pickett fan. One of his favorite songs is 'Man and a Half.'

5. Deep and Wide -- Veggie Tales
You can guess whose fault THIS one is. Believe me, it got skipped over right quick.

6. Jump -- Van Halen
I LOVE Van Halen. Heck, I think I loved this song even in 1985. How can you not love this song? It's one of the all-time classics.

7. I Still Believe -- Jeremy Camp (from the WOW No. 1s album)
There's also a large place still in my heart for the stuff I did listen to a lot in the 80s -- cheesy, heartfelt, not necessarily musically good Christian stuff.

8. Hold Me, I'm Falling -- The Unknown (an instrumental from the 'Monsoon Wedding' soundtrack)
I love soundtracks. I love, love movie soundtracks. Someone else went to all the trouble to compile a bunch of awesome music for me! And in some cases, I get to relive the memories of some of my favorite movies! This should really be the 'Nora Ephron award moment.'
Oddly, I haven't even seen 'Monsoon Wedding,' now that I think about it. I just love the sound of Indian-style music.

9. How -- The Cranberries.
Uh, yeah. I guess I like the Cranberries, too. Not this particular song, per se. I don't generally care for angry music, with Alanis Morrisette the occasional exception.

10. A Time to Love -- Stevie Wonder
Another musical master I didn't appreciate in the '80s. Hey -- I thought of him for years as the guy who sang 'I Just Called To Say I Love You'! Ugh.

theology

I had a “first” a few nights ago – I was served communion by my 5-year-old daughter.
What few members of our church remained in the D.C. area over Christmas gathered with two other residual groups to read some Bible passages, sing some songs and have a “hearty communion.” Which I’m now a big fan of! What a tasty bounty of bread, juices and all sorts of fabulous fruit.

Toward the end, we passed around a cup of grape juice and a loaf of bread, and were instructed to offer them to the person on our right so that person could tear off a hunk of bread and dip it in the juice. Lizzy was on my left.

I might diverge from some of my churchgoers here when I say that I’m not really in favor of kids taking part in communion if they're too young to grasp what it is. And I know that Lizzy is definitely too young to have any idea of what communion is. I'm not too wound up about the bread and drink themselves being sacred, or anything; it just doesn't make much sense to me, to perform a symbolic gesture if one is unable to understand the symbolism. But when she solemnly handed me the elements, I knelt down and tried to explain to her in a sentence or two that we eat and drink these things to remember Jesus, and how much he loves us. She nodded her head. I’m told later that she double-dipped her bread. Oops!

This would seem to be the first year that she’s starting to get her head around the Nativity story. I’ve tried to read it to her in past years – in “Little Golden Book” form, not in full-fledged Biblical passage form – and she’s really resisted, so I figured, well, I don’t want the story of Christ’s birth to be forced on her. I’ll wait until she’s a little older. This year, when she hears a mention of Mary, she says to me, “I know what happened to Mary! She rode on a donkey when she was pregnant with baby Jesus.” “Yes, she did, sweetie,” I respond.

The other night, she added more to the story. “And Joseph was there, too. Well, I don’t really know why he’s called Joseph, because he’s also called God,” she says. I pondered that for a moment, then realized that it was the “who’s your daddy?” element of the story that confused her. Hm. I tried to explain as best I could, and I tried not to chuckle while I did it. I love the earnestness with which kids process things.

She’s yet to ask me WHY God sent Jesus to live among us. I’ve explained that he was meant to teach us how to live good and loving lives, and to tell us about God and how much he loves us. I feel that obviously that’s not the entirety of the story, but I really don’t know at what age it’s appropriate to go the whole nine yards of the crucifixion with your kid. I’ll have to ask around for opinions on that one.

on behalf of your gift-giving loved ones,

I do earnestly beseech and entreat you to refrain from making purchases for yourself within a couple of weeks of Christmas.

And five days before Christmas? Definitely not then.

Keep in mind as well that if the item is particularly sought after, and it is known that you would welcome the item with great delight, what would have been a fantastic surprise for you might then well be ruined. And certain parties' effort that went into procuring said surprise might then be all for naught.

And when you are told expressly not to buy a particular item? DO NOT BUY IT. It's just possible the person who said that might have had an excellent reason for doing so.

looking for the weekend

I hate to come across – or perhaps be? – someone ruled by mood swings (thanks, pregnancy!), but it really felt to me this morning as if a recent cloud had been lifted. I’m not sure what the cloud is, or was – I think largely just the daily grind lately. This season is so relentless, it doesn’t feel like I’ve left, or perhaps created, any space to just enjoy it. And I do so love the Christmas (or should I say Advent?) season.

I don’t know why today seems so much sunnier. Is it that we’re so close to the long weekend, I can smell it? I don’t even mind the fact that I’m working Monday. It still feels like a long, no-pressure weekend lies ahead. Or that the traffic was so minimal this morning? To underscore that point, I noticed with amazement that there was a major accident that blocked two lanes of Hwy. 66 traffic at what would normally be a critical point in the commute. That accident (bless them – I hope everyone was okay. I don’t mean to minimize that) would have slowed things down 30 to 45 minutes on any average day. But FINALLY, enough people have left town to make it smooth sailing, accident or no.

Or was it the bit of festive shopping I squeezed in before heading to work?

I’d hate to think my mood could turn on such inconsequential things. But I’ll enjoy the good mood, anyway.

In other news, we get to inherit a pet for about a week and a half.! Lizzy’s classroom needed to find a Christmas home for their guinea pig, Graham Cracker. He is SUCH a cutie, and (I hear) so well-behaved. He’s even taught Lizzy to like salad! I’m all for any creature that can do that. I’ll have to post some photos of our short-term resident. Maybe he can make friends with the squirrels.

Lizzy’s going on a field trip, on the metro, to see Santa Claus at a local mall (Pentagon City) today. McDonald’s lunch is also part of the plan. Should be quite a time. She said it was a good thing they weren’t going all the way to the North Pole to see him, because she wasn’t quite dressed for the weather there.

recent musings

You know how you do things a certain way, and that's normal to you? And then you realize, either one day or as the result of a series of little reactions from others over time, that the way you do things is weird to a lot of people?

I don't have this experience often, but every once in awhile, I do. Here are a couple of recent ones:

* Is it really so weird for an adult to order a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for oneself? In this case, in a crowded Potbelly's Sandwich Works in downtown D.C.? I realize that it's a bit stupid, in the sense that it costs Potbelly's about 45 cents for the ingredients, but sometimes, you just want what you want. I am rarely in the mood for a sandwich with four kinds of meat in it, a la their "Wreck." And yet I am the odd one for my order of PB&J.

* Is it really so strange/alarming for a married couple to maintain separate monetary systems? Bank accounts and the like? I have heard a lot of scoffing (not really directed at me, but as it happens, that's how we do things) from people about this. Especially marriage "experts." I clicked on a story discussing marital finances in regards to this matter at msn.com yesterday, and I thought for a few seconds that I had found sweet vindication. Until I saw that it was financial "experts" who suggested separate accounts. For purposes of simplification if a divorce happened. Whoops. But seriously, it works for us. We are open with each other about finances, we share all expenses fairly equally, and geez, we were 29 and 35 when we got married. We're used to what we're used to. So what's the big?

nostalgia for childhood, part II

We had a REAL fire in our REAL fireplace last night. The first ever! So real, Lizzy toasted a marshmallow for me. A s'more was the last thing I felt like eating at that moment, but who can resist a 5-year-old's s'more offering?

When we moved into our house in January, we noted the many, many things that we wanted to fix/change/eliminate. Could be a big reason why that house sat on the market for six months. But, as Matt has said since, the opportunities to make the house our own were an attraction for him. He's been itching to roll up his sleeves and do some home improvement.

Lately, he's been wondering how many thousands it would cost to tear out the wretched gas fireplace insert and get the chimney fitted for fire. He had an inspector come over and check it out, and verify that nothing really needs to be done, aside from physically tearing out the loathsome unit and plugging the hole where the gas line went in. The unit was henceforth torn out. A chimney cap, grate and screen were purchased. And ... voila! A roaring fire.

(I did take pictures, but didn't get around to downloading them. My evenings have been short recently. Too many presents to wrap, errands to run, too much sleep to get.)

Heck, Matt might even MAKE money on the deal if he successfully unloads the gas fire thingy on craigslist. And manages to get a deposit on the gas tank.

All in all, it's a pretty awesome development. Our first significant home improvement 'project,' and it turned out to be so easy!

Matt said he almost cried last night, after he turned off all the lights and gazed into the fire. But don't tell him I told you that.

Next up: Lots and LOTS of wallpaper removal. Wish us luck on all of that.

on people's pet peeves

Recently, I visited the blog of a good buddy who recently moved away from the area with his lovely wife to start a new life where the living is a little slower. I won't even pretend I'm not jealous!

He's more of an 'images' guy, though he can turn a phrase, or a thought, with the best of 'em. Or better. Anyhoo, he blogged one day about bloggers who start titles of blog posts with "on."

Is it beginning to dawn on you that the sole reason for this post is to do just that? It's true. I AM that lame. But I can't resist! I caaaaan't.

I won't do it again, though, Steve-o. I'll do my very best to remember!

You think I'd be sympathetic to these sorts of things ...

sick day

Lizzy and I stayed home yesterday. She had what only amounted to a cold, but the onset seemed severe and unsettling enough to merit a day at home.

As long as we’d decided that she was definitely staying home, Lizzy was cheerful enough about the consequences. She was marginally okay with the fact that she’d have to take a nap, and she brought up the restricted diet aspect all by herself (mistakenly, as it turns out – it’s more of a flu thing).

“And I’ll have to eat selfish!” she declared.

“Eat selfish?” I said, utterly baffled.
“You mean, eat the word ‘selfish’?”

“No,” she said, looking at me pityingly. “Not the word – the letters! I mean, what they stand for!”

Then it hit me that she was referring to the BRAT diet (Bananas, Rice, Applesauce and Toast). Aha!

I love the occasional moment of insight into how her little mind works.

It turned out to be a neat day to be home, if we had to choose one this week. We went outside in the late afternoon and watched the snow falling as dusk descended and the neighbors’ Christmas lights blinked on. So peaceful.
And then I had to pretend to be frightened, and run shrieking, as Lizzy pelted me with little softly packed fistfuls of newfallen snow.

And we got a package from my mom that had to be signed for by the recipient. Thank goodness for one less errand to run (package pickup) this weekend.

loss

I had my first ultrasound yesterday afternoon.

It went pretty well. The doctor/tech/whatever her official title was, seemed very nice and attentive and put me at ease. Quite a contrast to the dismissive male I was treated to last time around (with Lizzy). No offense to males in general, but the ones I've encountered in prenatal care just don't seem to 'get it' like women do.

The doctor/tech found the little 'peanut' without difficulty, said there was just one (whew!), and pointed out its little flickery heartbeat. Even printed out a photo for me. It's quite the fetching grainy gray blob.

So that was all good. The dates seemed to match up to what I thought they should, at least within a few days, so ... so far, all is well.

But somewhere across town, a good friend of mine, also getting her first sonogram, was getting the opposite news. No baby to be found.

I don't even know what to say about this disparity of fortune. Except, it makes me deeply sad. In all my paranoia about what might happen (and might still happen; it's still early in the game, no guarantees) to my little peanut, I never dreamed anything would happen to my friend's.

There's no rhyme or reason to it. No rhyme or reason, whatsoever.

I'm so, so sorry that things happen this way. All I can do is pray. And hope for better things, someday soon.